Last Call

I went to our local library today to return a couple of books I’d checked out last week. Usually I’m pretty lucky in picking out something worthwhile to read. Our library is kind of small but it does have its complete catalog online now, which is a big help in determining beforehand which stacks I’ll be browsing.


This time though, I went in completely clueless. Let’s see…fiction? Emm….No. I tend to get too involved with a story and come to resent it when the author plays around with my emotions. That’s my mother’s job.


Our library has a rather extensive “Texas” collection, with a whole room upstairs devoted to it. Nah…I’m not a native Texan so the only Texas history I know is LBJ, the Bushes, and Kinky Friedman (who is also a mystery writer, by the way.)


Someday I’ll get around to his book “Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned.”


The political section could be interesting if it didn’t have so many copies of Anne Coulter and Glenn Beck leering out at me from the shelves. (I have been tempted to take some of them and “mis-file” them, but I think that’s what happened with the only copy of “The God Problem” by atheist Richard Dawkins, since I haven’t been able to locate it. I bet if I looked in the Texas room under “Varmints” I’d probably find it.)


I decided to browse the biography section, starting with the “A’s” and working my way down alphabetically. I’m afraid I gave short shrift to the books on the bottom shelves because it required cricking up my neck too much to read the titles. Yes, I’m that lazy.


I gave a pass to Maya Angelou (book too thin), Lucille Ball (book too thick), Princess Di (too sad), Ava Gardner (too drunk), Judy Garland (ditto), Cary Grant (too handsome…hmmm…maybe later), Audrey Hepburn (already read one), Adolph Hitler (too crazy).


I finally landed on one that felt just right. It’s called “American Jezebel–The Uncommon Life of Anne Hutchinson–The Woman Who Defied the Puritans.” Anyway, we’ll see.


Although engrossed in my search, I was vaguely aware that the rather large room was becoming quieter and quieter. Usually there are at least three or four other browsers around me and a couple more folks on their laptops. I really didn’t think anything of it. I was kind of enjoying the peacefulness of it all, like I had the whole place to myself.


Turns out, I did.


As I was looking at some art books, a lady came around the end of the stacks and informed me that the library was closing.


WTF? At 2:00 pm?


It seems that 2:00 is, indeed, their Friday closing time (It’s on a big sign on the front door as you come in—but who reads?)


I apologized for being the last one standing and hurriedly checked out my book.


Maybe I should have picked the book about Lucille Ball.


I wonder if Lucy ever got locked in at the library…